Technologically astute parenting: Part 2

The most difficult part of parenting is the constant "what-ifs" while walking the fine line between allowing our children to learn how to make good choices in authentic decision-making scenarios and knowing when to be an authoritative parent and make those decisions outright for them. Basically good kids and basically good parents will occasionally make poor choices, but that's okay as long as everyone understands that the most meaningful lessons learned come from our mistakes. Additionally, a fundamental truth about wants is that something forbidden is far more desirable than it otherwise would be left to blend in with the rest of things. Mark Twain illustrates that so well when Tom Sawyer manages to convince the other children to whitewash the fence for him.

Alas, Scott and I have quite often lacked good judgement in the pursuit of progressive parenting. Case in point: we allowed our teenage sons to purchase Grand Theft Auto (GTA) a couple of years ago, hoping that the allure of the video game would wear off. We were right. It did. Nevertheless, it was a shock this summer to hear in the news regarding the pornography play option embedded within it; and we were worried that Hank and Ted would find out too.

Scott and I tried to bring up the subject casually at dinner. I began by asking the boys if they still owned the game. They did, but they didn't play it anymore. Whew! I then asked what games they did play, but the onslaught of thoughts in my head were too loud for me to really hear what they were saying. I couldn't help but ponder that it wouldn't be long before they and their friends would learn about IT. IT had all sorts of sordid implications that could lead to making poor choices. I was mother-guilt-ridden and felt that progressive parents would talk further about IT. Even though Scott wore a relieved smile on his face while carrying the conversation that I was no longer listening to, I couldn't help but blurt what was on my mind.

"Did you hear the news about Grand Theft Auto?" I asked.

"What about it?" said Ted. So, I explained what I knew.

"That's just now making the news?" was Hank's comment, and he explained what he knew and that he'd heard about it months earlier.

Until that moment, I had thought I was a rather astute parent. However, Hank made me realize that I wasn't far from being regarded with the same pitiful incredulity that my sister and I had for my 86-year-old grandmother in 1994 when we comprehended that operating an answering maching was far too complex for her and her friends.