A Voice

The most fundamental need: To love and be loved in return. Which movie was based on this premise?

This week has been rough for me, and as I wallow and reflect, I think it has something to do with this notion. Oh, it isn't that I don't believe that I am not loved, but it has more to do with the expression of love, or what is missing from my life from those who profess to love me. What is missing: a genuine interest in my voice.

What happens when those around me only feign interest in the things I say and do is that they negatively misinterpret. When I am happy, I feel like I exist on the periphery of their concern. The sad, sad truth is that on a daily basis, I am too easy-going. I go with the flow, because what's expected of me is to always be a good sport on their joyride. I listen and commiserate with them; but when I am unhappy, rather than listen, they'd rather work on trying to convince me that what I think is wrong. Why can't they genuinely listen to what's eating me?

You'd think by now I'd be used to this, but every so often the lingering lonliness within my heart boomerangs when I get nailed for just being me. I loathe accusations of malicious intent when they aren't there. It alienates me from them.

Perhaps that is why I like middle school kids. All they want is to be heard and understood when it seems like they live in a world where nobody gives a rat's ass.

In my daily life, I am a happy person. I like my job. I love my family. I like who I am. It just pisses me off when they chastize me in the remotest, most personal way by failing to hear my voice.